Fully Immersed!
It was a great weekend - although the trip had to be cancelled because of the rain, the baptism service was very moving. Three of us came forward to take the plunge (as it were) and explained how they had come to faith... Mike had manufactured the pool... Sue did the breakfast and everyone came away with a strong sense that something rather wonderful had just taken place... have a look at the photos below...
God heals Richard's kidney stones
An alpha unlike any other…
I think I have been on at least 12 Alphas… don’t know… maybe more… lost count… And it’s been great… each time God reveals himself in remarkable ways – always uniquely and personally – sometimes subtly and at other times dramatically... but either way he makes use of our availability, overrides our mistakes, and presents himself to people who want are seeking, knocking and asking… I enjoy it all… and perhaps have become a little blasé about it… it seems to work. My story this Alpha was more personal though… I had come as a ‘leader’… and it’s not for the leaders – it’s for the guests… but I suppose that some rules are meant to be broken.
In the second half of the course things get more practical… we start praying for each other, reading the bible and consider healing. This is always a special time – everyone is little more alert, a little more attentive, a little more expectant. At this point everyone, leaders and guests get more focussed - asking God to reveal himself, answer prayer, meet a need. We all want God to act and make a difference. This term I was leading a group of people with considerable needs. We asked God to provide jobs, care for children, make a difference in our lives. We lacked resources. We needed him to do stuff and untangle knots too hard to untie ourselves... It was getting going – we were, in our own way, getting closer to the nub of things… and then I got kidney stones…
Well I suppose they must have been growing for some time. It started on the Saturday, on my church ‘away day’ – when I was talking about the vision of the church and how we might be a community in Twerton where we lived. And just after lunch, at the end of a short walk, I suddenly, overwhelmingly was racked with pain in my lower back and side… noisy pain - so bad that I groaned embarrassingly (but uncontrollably) out loud... Everyone heard and was concerned… I was sweating. It was bad. I was bent over… The pain gradually eased enough for me to sit down and have a cup of tea and we took it easy as the others returned from the walk and got ready for the last session… it was going to be the climax of the day… I was setting out my vision… But I only got so far before I had to stop… half way through, mid sentence… brought to a slamming halt. I apologised and left the room to get outside… and started groaning again… I only say all this to let you know that it hurt – really hurt. I know I am a man and all that – but this was bad. I think I even cried a little.
Tory, my wife, took me to casualty as I lay on the back seat of the car and I was taken straight in. Cutting a long (but very interesting) story short I was dosed up with morphine, spent the worst night of my life in agony, and had a CT scan first thing in the morning which revealed that I had three stones in my left kidney – one large one (1cm in diameter) and a couple of others for good measure… I wouldn’t be able to ‘pass’ them – so I was ‘given’ a ‘stent’ (an operation where they put a tube going from the kidney to the bladder), apparently to keep the stones in the kidney out of harms way and to keep the water flowing through my system. In the mean time I was to wait for ‘lithotripsy’ treatment – a kind of zapping machine that shatters the stones with some kind of ultrasound wave… all very clever… and although the side effects of the stent can be significant it seemed the best option…
And so, after a period of rest I gradually went back to work and returned to Alpha… At times I would be fine and then the stent would cause considerable pain… a gut wrenching ache in my lower back… made you want to lie down… hurt when I peed… But I wanted to get back to my group so turned up for the healing session.
The talk on healing is always a highlight – full of stories and it makes you wonder… people smile… and beforehand the group leaders gather to pray and ask God for direction about the kind of things he might want to heal… and people get pictures and words and ideas and we share them and write them down… I had been uncomfortable all day – slept badly the night before and woken with back pain – interestingly on the right side rather than the left where the stones were… and I guessed I must have been holding myself badly or strained something compensating for the other side… I was finding it hard to concentrate as we prayed and shared…
A guy called Richard Fothergill had a picture and said this, “I think there's a man who has back pain on the right hand side (I think he said at the lower back)… and he thinks it’s back pain – but it’s not, it’s to do with his kidneys…” Sounded familiar… and I wondered what might happen.
I have to mention at this point that, although a Vicar, although I have been a Christian all my life, although I have been through countless Alphas, my faith for healing has always been low… somehow, for some reason, it hasn’t worked for me – don’t know why… and I have been increasingly disappointed I guess that healing wasn’t part of my experience or the experience of people I prayed for… it seemed to happen for other people – often friends of friends of friends – but not me. I believed in healing, I had heard stories about it, and they gave me hope. I have preached about it – I have prayed for it but I was usually disappointed. And it is difficult to pray for healing feeling disappointed and lacking faith… I did my best to be faithful and to believe, but deep down I guess I was like one of the disciples – “Oh you of little faith”…
But tonight I thought my chances were perhaps higher – the picture seemed so accurately to fit my situation that I began to grow in confidence. Earlier that day I had told Tory about the back pain – dismissing it as muscular… but perhaps it was related to the kidney issue after all… So after the talk (a wonderfully rich and honest talk) Grace (who had given the talk) wanted to model the way of praying for people and so she read out some of the words… including mine (you see I had made up my mind it related to me and not anyone else already)… the one about the back pain…
Immediately Thaddeus, from my group put his hand up and wanted to be prayed for in front of everyone. We had been told to come to the front if anyone in our group was willing to do this, and to join in with praying for healing… so I, Richard (who had had the picture) and Robert (who had had another one that Thaddeus related to) prayed away for his back pain. (and I thought it was supposed to be my 'word') As soon as we started Robert and Richard started to look surprised and they reported an incredible heat on Thaddeus’ back where they were laying on their hands… a really hot heat… not a gentle warming but as if there was an electric fire on Thaddeus’ back… I was laying hands on his shoulder so missed out on this but as Richard and Robert kept looking surprised I thought I test it out – and it was indeed very hot indeed – unnaturally hot… We finished praying for Thaddeus, whose tears ran down his cheeks, overwhelmed by the love and power of God and went to our groups…
And in our small group we talked about it all and then we started praying for each other – doing the same thing – laying hands on each other and asking Jesus to heal us… simple… nothing complicated… nothing weird… well, not that weird anyway… And I asked for prayer too… I told them about my back pain and my kidney stones and I told them about the ‘stent’ and the lithotripsy and they laid hands on me and prayed.
Mary prayed particularly powerfully… as if she really believed… as if she knew Jesus was going to do something… “I know you can do it Jesus, I know you can do it… So do it Jesus, heal this lovely handsome young man. Take away his kidney stones. Heal his back pain…” It was very moving… We were a motley bunch – not many resources… complicated lives… but it was as if the kingdom of God was ours… blessed are the poor for theirs is the kingdom of God… Thaddeus prayed too… he was full of faith
And Belinda had joined in… and she told me that she thought God was saying that I had to be ‘like a child’ – receive it ‘like a child’ – believe ‘like a child’… I agreed, as you do… “Yes… like a child…” trying to look suitably childlike and trusting… Went home and told Tory… and was happy and even hopeful…
I woke the next morning and felt ok – not brilliant but ok… and as is my custom went off to pray with my staff team… I told them the story and smiled as I tried to be like a child… but quite quickly I felt really bad – really bad. Everything hurt – I had blood in my pee and really bad back pain… so much so that I had to get back into bed… I was cross… angry… disappointed… again… I couldn’t see why God wouldn’t answer Mary’s prayer… I wasn’t really cross for me – I can live with a bit of back pain for a few days or so and wait for treatment – I am sure the Doctors would have done something to make it better. But I was cross for Mary and the others in my group – why couldn’t they have a story to tell of how God had answered their prayers… Tory was cross too – not with God or with me but with the enemy – and told him, as if talking to him directly, to leave me alone and go away. Resist the Devil and he will flee…
As the days past I didn’t get any better – I was certainly not healed… it hurt. And I was disappointed… But as time passed, don’t know why really as my symptoms remained, I found myself beginning to wonder what if God had healed me and the only pain was experiencing was the wretched 'stent'. “You know,” I said to Tory “I wouldn’t be surprised if when I get to be zapped they won’t find any stones on the scan.” I even said this out loud to my Mum and Dad who had come to look after the kids when I went into hospital for the treatment… “Of course I probably don’t have any stones any more…” ”What did you say?” “Oh nothing…” as I lost confidence again, not wanting to look silly hours later…
So I drove to hospital and lay on the couch and they began to scan me… There was the stent – it’s pig-tail end clearly showing on the large screen by head… There was my kidney… all the various parts… but no stones… “Can you tell us a bit about you history” said the technician… So I told her the story of my 1cm stone… “Mmmm,” she said, “can’t see it… think I’ll get you x-rayed too… unless you’ve passed it.” “Would I know?” “Oh yes…” I smiled to myself and thought of Mary... So off I went to be x-rayed and again nothing to be seen… Everyone was kind of concerned – couldn’t understand what had happened… they got the CT scan out and showed me the stone – big and white… nasty… and looked at the scan and the x-ray in front of them… normal… and they invited me back for an IVP (an x-ray with a dye) asap… Went home, told my mum they couldn’t find anything and that they hadn’t treated me, “Oh that’s awful!” I thought it was rather good actually… although I knew I’d have to wait to tell everyone… That was Tuesday the week before Easter…
Easter was good – I love it – and this year it was great… felt God’s presence… felt the power of the story… If it’s true it’s the best story in the world… Was reminded that God can do even more than all we can ask or imagine… Death and resurrection – the best time of year…. And then went back on the Tuesday afterwards (the NHS was doing this all very efficiently) for the IVP…
but 6 x-rays later the doctor still couldn’t see anything ‘stone like’… nothing…
Doctor said she'd take the xrays away for further detailed inspection, but was
pretty certain that there was nothing wrong.
So here I am – a witness to the God who rolls stones away… Amazing… really amazing… AS I write this I have Just had the phone call from the experts… The IVP was all clear. My Doctor has dictated a letter to the RUH saying that I need to have my stent out as soon as they can fit me in… I look forward to that!
Not just healed physically - deeply encouraged in my faith too.
